Why Do We Shake Hands? The Complete History of Greetings

Episode 0007: Craig Calcaterra

Craig Calcaterra of Cup of Coffee on leaving law for baseball writing, the sabermetrics revolution, and finding contentment in an uncertain world.

The handshake is so automatic that most of us never question it. You meet someone new, extend your right hand, grip theirs firmly, and give a few quick pumps. It happens at job interviews, business meetings, first dates, and chance encounters. But why this gesture? Why not a bow, a wave, or a nod?

The handshake has a history that stretches back thousands of years, and its meaning has shifted across cultures and centuries. What began as a gesture of peace evolved into a symbol of agreement, trust, and social connection. Let’s trace how this simple act became one of the most universal greetings in the world.

The ancient origins of the handshake

The earliest evidence of handshakes appears in ancient Greece and Rome. Archaeological findings, including pottery and stone reliefs from the 5th century BCE, depict two figures clasping right hands. These images often appeared in scenes of diplomacy, agreements, and farewells.

In ancient Greece, the handshake was known as dexiosis (from dexios, meaning “right hand”). It symbolized trust and goodwill. The gesture showed both parties were unarmed, their weapon hand open and visible. In a time when violence was common and strangers posed real danger, extending an open palm was a powerful statement: I come in peace.

The Romans adopted this practice and called it dextrarum iunctio (“joining of right hands”). Roman handshakes appeared on coins, monuments, and legal documents. The gesture formalized agreements, sealed contracts, and marked alliances. A handshake wasn’t just polite; it was binding.

Why the right hand?

The emphasis on the right hand isn’t arbitrary. In most cultures, the right hand has been associated with strength, honor, and cleanliness. The left hand, historically, was reserved for less dignified tasks (think bathroom). Using the right hand for greetings reinforced social norms and showed respect.

The “weapon hand” theory also explains the preference. Most people are right-handed, so warriors typically held swords or daggers in their right hand. Extending that hand empty demonstrated peaceful intent. Some historians suggest early handshakes included a vigorous shake to dislodge any hidden weapons from sleeves, though evidence for this is sparse.

The handshake in medieval Europe

During the Middle Ages, the handshake took on new meaning in European feudal societies. Knights and nobles used handshakes to seal oaths of loyalty and formalize agreements. The gesture symbolized honor and trustworthiness, values central to chivalric codes.

Handshakes also appeared in religious contexts. Medieval art depicts God and Christ extending hands to believers, symbolizing divine covenant and grace. The gesture bridged the sacred and the secular, reinforcing its importance as a sign of connection.

By the Renaissance, handshakes had become a standard part of social etiquette among European elites. Etiquette manuals advised on proper technique: firm but not crushing, brief but sincere. The handshake was no longer just about peace or agreements; it had become a marker of civility.

When the handshake became commonplace

The handshake’s transformation into a universal greeting accelerated in the 17th and 18th centuries. As European societies became more commercial and democratic, the handshake spread beyond aristocratic circles. Merchants, tradesmen, and ordinary citizens adopted it as a sign of equality and mutual respect.

The Quakers, a Christian religious group founded in the 17th century, played a significant role in popularizing the handshake. Quakers rejected formal titles and hierarchical bowing, which they saw as inconsistent with spiritual equality. Instead, they greeted everyone, regardless of status, with a simple handshake. This practice emphasized humility and brotherly love.

By the 19th century, the handshake had become standard across Western cultures. Victorian etiquette books offered detailed guidance on when and how to shake hands. Men shook hands with other men routinely. Women extended hands more selectively, often waiting to be greeted first. The rules were complex, but the gesture itself was everywhere.

The handshake crosses cultures

As European colonialism and trade expanded globally, the handshake spread to regions with different greeting traditions. In many Asian cultures, bowing was the norm. In Middle Eastern societies, elaborate verbal greetings and embraces were common. Yet the handshake gradually found its place, often coexisting with traditional customs.

In Japan, for example, the bow remains the traditional greeting, but handshakes are now common in business settings, especially when dealing with international partners. The handshake signals openness to Western business practices while maintaining cultural identity through the bow.

In some cultures, the handshake has been adapted. In many African countries, handshakes are elaborate, often involving multiple grips, snaps, and shoulder bumps. These variations add personality and cultural flavor to the universal gesture.

What makes a good handshake?

The “perfect” handshake has been studied, debated, and dissected. Research suggests that a good handshake involves:

• Firm grip: Not crushing, but confident and solid.
• Eye contact: Shows engagement and sincerity.
• Brief duration: Two to three pumps, no longer.
• Dry hands: Sweaty palms create discomfort and distrust.
• Appropriate context: Knowing when a handshake is expected or welcome.

Studies have shown that people judge others based on their handshake. A firm handshake correlates with perceptions of confidence, competence, and trustworthiness. A weak or limp handshake can create negative first impressions, fairly or not.

Interestingly, the handshake also has physiological effects. Physical touch, even brief, releases oxytocin, a hormone associated with bonding and trust. This may explain why handshakes feel significant, even in fleeting encounters.

When handshakes disappeared (and returned)

The COVID-19 pandemic forced a global rethinking of the handshake. For the first time in centuries, this gesture became taboo. Health guidelines discouraged physical contact, and many predicted the handshake would disappear permanently.

Alternative greetings emerged: elbow bumps, foot taps, waves, and bows. Yet as restrictions eased, handshakes returned. For many, the gesture was too deeply ingrained, too meaningful to abandon. The handshake survived because it represents more than hygiene; it embodies connection, trust, and acknowledgment.

Some workplaces and cultures have adopted new norms, offering greetings without physical contact. But the handshake persists, a testament to its resilience and symbolic power.

The future of the handshake

Will the handshake endure for another thousand years? It’s hard to say. Digital communication has already changed how we connect. Virtual meetings, emojis, and text messages replace many face-to-face interactions. Yet when we do meet in person, the handshake remains a powerful ritual.

The gesture adapts. In some circles, fist bumps have replaced handshakes. In others, the traditional grip holds firm. What doesn’t change is the human need to acknowledge each other physically, to signal respect and goodwill through touch.

The handshake has survived wars, plagues, and cultural shifts. It has crossed continents and centuries. As long as people meet, negotiate, and connect, some version of this gesture will likely persist.

Conclusion

The handshake is more than a greeting. It’s a gesture that has carried meaning for thousands of years. From ancient peace offerings to modern business deals, it has symbolized trust, respect, and connection.

The next time you extend your hand, you’re participating in a tradition that spans continents and centuries. You’re signaling the same message that a Greek diplomat or a Roman senator once conveyed: I come in peace. I see you. Let’s connect.

So go ahead. Shake hands. It’s one of the oldest ways we have of saying hello.